Thanksgiving...

Joyous for most. I, on the other hand, hate it! Most people don't understand this. Let me explain...

I grew up with my Dad and my Sister. Cozy and crazy. My Mom was around but my parents were seperated and eventually divorced. Thanksgiving was most holidays were stressful. Where would we be, who would have us. Technically Thanksgiving was my Mom's "day." As she had us on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other weekend.

Life with my Dad and my sister was always fun. Sometimes sad and well, kind of hard. But it was always always busy. We had to go to a babysitter before and after school and we usually weren't picked up until after 6. And my Dad didn't have a choice. He was single, he had to work and he did not want us to be alone. So off to the babysitter we went. Then when he would pick us up we would pick up some sort of fast food for dinner and then homework, bath and bed.

We never ate dinner together unless we were in a resteraunt. It was rushed. Eating at the counter or in front of the TV. Which is why meal time is so important for me now. Then Thanksgiving would roll around. And we would feel obligated to eat at the table a huge meal of foods that we never ate. This my friends is why I hate Turkey...I never ate it, but I had to eat it on Thanksgiving.

My Dad is totally my hero. He raised two girls on his own. I can not even imagine what life must have been life for him. God Bless him for trying his best to make Thanksgiving what it is supposed to be. And he did. He would get a turkey breast and would microwave it. He would make the potatos, rolls, corn...all of the things that you are supposed to have. And my little sister loved it. She loved to cook, she loved to set the table and drink the sparlking cider. And in my heart I know that she is the reason that he continued to do it every year.

Me on the other hand, I would get up in the morning knowing that it was going to be rushed. I knew that my Dad was trying to help get all of the food cooked to make us happy in order to have Thanksgiving dinner together. He knew that if we didn't get finished on time that my Mom was going to be there, ready or not, to take us to Thanksgiving dinner with her friends.

Dinner with her friends was miserable! MISERABLE! They did not have any children. My sister and I would be forced to stay in the front room watching TV that didn't have any reception other that the fuzzy football games. They set up a table for us and we sat in their and ate Thanksgiving alone together. Feeling unimportant. And of course now I get it. I am a Mom now and I know how fun that adult time is. But I wish that we could have just stayed home with Dad. I know he wouldn't have minded.

Now that I am a Mom and even when Tony and I just moved in together I make it a point. We have dinner together, at the table, with the TV and radio off. Dinner is a time to reflect on the day, giggle, enjoy eachother and our meal. My children thank me for making dinner every night. They even thank their Dad if he just goes out and gets Taco Bell. I don't want my children to feel like we need a holiday to enjoy eachother or a meal. I want to be thankful and enjoy eachother everynight.

So, this year we are going to Maria's. I am not looking forward to it. Only because I feel like it is forced. And part of me knows that she just likes having us all over. I know that she loves having her boys and her grandchildren and maybe even her deaughter in laws together. But I wish that we could do it once a month or something. Not just because of the holiday. Maybe I am selfish. Another thing...I don't like to be waited on. I hate showing up and the food is all ready and I didn't get to feel like a part of it.

My resolution?? I have been thinking long and hard. And next year I am not going to have to decide who I am spending the holiday with. I am going to have it here. Yes, here! I am going to learn how to make a turkey (even if I hate it). My children are going to help mash the potatos. And I am invinting everyone who wants to be here. My Mom and his Mom. My sister and his brothers. Friends....everyone! So instead of being a day of being forced to eat a meal that I hate. It will be a day of craziness, laughter and a big old mess. My children in their jammies until they want to get dressed. My husband drinking a beer with his brothers in the garage. Cookies on the table all day. And a Pizza! Yes a Pizza...because that is what I like. I like Pizza. So mark your calendars people...next year Thanksgiving is here. Pizza, cookies and turkey.