My Tito

He is my true best friend. I can say that without even thinking about it. We have been friends since I was in the third and he was in the second grade. We grew up together. He is more than a friend, he is a brother.

We met eachother at the apartment complex. I had just moved in and was very sad and felt alone. We had gone from a big beautiful house with a Mom. To a small two bedroom apartment on a busy street with no Mom. All of a sudden she was gone and we had a babysitter.

It was Saturday afternoon and I was depressed. Sad, huh? Depressed in the third grade. I can remember feeling alone and helpless laying on the cold, green tile entryway. Hoping that someone would knock on the door and save me from the misery. And someone did!

His name was Brian and he asked if I wanted to ride bikes. And I did! And down at the bottom of the stairs was a cute mexican boy. My Tito. And he looked confused. At that time I thought that him and Brian were friends, but it turns out that they were not. Brian had knocked on his door and asked him to ride bikes and then they rode over to get me. So, Brian gave me my friend.

We rode around the complex laughing and giggling. Doing what you did when you were eight. Feeling cool on my purple bike with the big old banana seat. When we finally stopped riding we parked in "the grass." It was a small grass area with a little hill right next to the swimming pool behind my apartment. It was innocent perfection.

After that day Tito and I were inseperable. We would play Barbies together. We made up dance routines and talked of being on Star Search. We had dolls named Vicky, Monica and David. We played with them to no end. I had to keep them all at my house because Tito's Mom did not approve of him playing with dolls. We would collect cans and take them to the recycling center to go to the grocery store to buy Squeeze It's and candy bars. We would sneak them into my room and have a picnic. Innocent Perfection.

When we started junior high and high school we kind of parted ways. Much to my dismay. He started to go by Jesse. He started smoking. We both changed. I hung out with the stoners and skaters. He hung out with cheerleaders and drama club kids. We were different. I didn't care about that, but he did. And we kind of just lost all communication with eachother.

For me it was sad. I think it was worse for me because I didn't really have a big family and I cherished him as my family. I do that with everyone who is close to me. I don't want to lose anyone. I want friends and family. I want everyone to want to be here comfortable and warm.

So over the years I find him. It is always me finding him. And I don't care. I don't care if I look desperate for him. I am. I love him. And everytime I find him again it is like nothing has changed. We laugh and giggle. We can talk about anything together. And now I found him on MySpace. And I love that.

I love it because we talk everyday now. I love it because he is my family. I love that he told me that he is sick and alone and that I was able to send him a package of things to make him smile. Along with a blanket that my Mom made me. I sent it to him. As it is the only way that I can give him a hug right now. And I love that he sent me a message to thank me for the blanket and he signed Tito.

Jesse, if you read this know that you are my family. You are my brother. My children call you Uncle Jesse and I know that one day you will finally meet all three of them. And they will be obnoxious and you will be miserable but you will love it as much as I do. I know that because we promised it to eachother. And you knew how much I wanted to be a Mommy and you will be happy for me. I am always here for you, no matter what. We will always find eachother and look back and smile at our little bubble.