I wonder

If there really is something that keeps me from doing it. Eating healthy I mean.

I effin love chocolate. I really really do. I crave it. And I will kill a bitch for a snickers bar man!

So today began my back to the YMCA again. I say it all of the time. But I told Beanie and Sheryl that we need to resume "Operation Sexy Bitch" and so I took it upon myself to get out of the house this evening and shake my ass at Jazzercise and then I did 15 minutes on the ARC trainer. If you don't know what the ARC trainer is you should seriously find one. That sonuvabitch kills you, it burns and you want to collapse and die. But they say it works...and I believe them because anything that feels that bad has to be good for you right??

I ate like a pig all day yesterday and then again today. Fuck Halloween! You all are nuts to love it so much. I have so much candy lying around here that I could just puke. And I can't stop eating it. The kids aren't eating it. Tony and I are. Halloween is so for the adults. Whoever thought of making the kids feel all special to get a fancy costume was a genious. Because all we are really doing is sending them out once a year to get us junk food that we are to fat and embarassed to buy on our own at the store. Seriously...I want a bucket of chocolate at least once a day but I am not going to go out and buy it. Fat ass....

So is there a balance? Is there a way to eat the food that you crave and love and turn your body into a healthy sexy bitch?? I mean I don't want to be skinny...fuck that. I want to have curves, I like curvery women. I think they are beautiful. My husband met me curvey. But now I am a fat ass...all flubbery and gross. Not cookie dough lady gross or anything...but still.

So...if I workout everyday can I still have a couple of chocolate chip cookies?

Fucking Sheryl...that Its It is in the Freezer and I can't stop the insanity!