Scotty

Is back to school! Can you hear the angels singing in the background? Did you notice the sun shining just a little brighter today? Can you hear that there is not one child fighthing here at my house today? Can ya?? Can ya??

I love him. I really do. He is a freaking genious. But lets be honest...he whines. A lot. A LOT! And he wants to be the man of the house, so he takes it upon himself to parent the babies. And that leads to screaming and fighting. But he thinks he is helping so I shouldn't really complain.

Anywhoo!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! For back to school!!!!

Best Friends...

I just did a survey on My Space. I love My Space.

And it had "who is your best friend?" question.

And I answered
Melissa and Beanie

and then I got in the shower. I think a lot. I tend to over think. And I was thinking about best friends and what that means. It means a lot. A real lot. At least to me.

Growing up my best friend was Tito. We met when he was in the second and I was in the fourth grade. I adored him. Like a brother. But we had a rough relationship. We are still in touch but not really friends anymore. He is on myspace and he calls himself Jesse now. You can look if you want to.

Then there was Tiffany. We are still great friends I love her to death. But we just lose touch so much. I really don't think that I would have made it through high school without her or her family. They mean a lot to me. We still talk through emails and probably get together about once a year. And when we are together it was like we were never apart. But not best friends I would say.

Next came Melissa. And I really do think of her as my best friend. Our husbands went to high school together. And that is how we met. I was not sure of her at first because I am shy and she is very not shy. She says what she thinks, she doesn't have that filter. And sometimes it is good and sometimes it is not. But I love her.

And now my life is full of people. And not to hurt anyones feelings but in the shower I kept on thinking about these people as best friends. Beanie, Sheryl and Tammy. All for different reasons.

Beanie. You are amazing. You are such a breath of fresh air. I love you because you say what is on your mind and you don't care what other people think. But you do not say things that could hurt someone. I love your excitement about life and your refreshing outlook. I love that when I go into your house I feel like I am at home. I love that Emma loves me. I love your husband and your brother. I love Shane's lisp and his floofy hair. I love that your sister does your makeup and you like to do mine. I love going shopping with you and forgetting about all of the bullshit. Thank you for telling me that I am beautiful and that you love me too.

Sheryl, I think that you are my best friend too. You call me 100 times a day and I smile every time I see your number come up. That has never happened to me before. I can talk to you about absolutley everything. I love that. I love that we make eachother giggle about absolutely nothing. I am so thankful that we have Luke, Jack and Cooper, because we are officially family now. I told Tony the other night that the day when you called me up to come over and brought cheesecake just because you were in the neighborhood was so special. That is friendship. Elmee makes me crack the heck up and I love that Maddie thinks I am a freak. Thank you for being you. Thanks for giggling with me at the gym and for kicking me in the butt when I am down.

Tammy. Oh my word. You are like a big sister. You really are. I know that we don't hang out as much as I do with Beanie and Sheryl but I truly feel like I can bring anything to you. I know that you are there for me whenever I need it. Whether it is for a hug or a phone call when you are worried. Since day one meeting you at Funworks I could feel that connnection. I love that we have the boys together. That you always laugh at my dorkiness. Your family is awesome and full of fun stories. I wish that we did more together.

Okay. gush gush gush...i know. But i just had to or I would feel bad all night for not including Tammy and Sheryl!

A couple to add..

I have been informed that I left a couple of things off of my list...

1. No hot liquids!!!! None, no soup, coffee, tea, hot chocolate. NO HOT LIQUIDS. I know I know...poor Tony.

2. Pasta Noodles. I just like to have them. We don't have to eat them. I just want to have them in the house. I do not like to have less than three bags of noodles in the house.

3. I hate to buy toilet paper. I really do. I hate it. Espescially if it is a big ol Costco pack. If it will not fit in a regular size grocery bag I do not want to buy it. And I can't go in to the store to just buy toilet paper. I have to get something with it.

4. I visit the Dollar Tree every Friday. I don't want to miss out on any new things

5. I will not buy generic mayonaise. It has to be Best Foods.

Just a Few

Pictures from our Hallweenie Party. It was the baddest ass party ever. And if you weren't there then you suck...or you just live in another country!

This is me and I am feeling a little horny...sorry i couldn't help it. i have been hanging around with beanie way too much


Rachel and her man

and i don't know what the hell happened here!



Bobby and my whale sperm


Here are all of the munchkins


I love this one...such a good Auntie


Rachel is such a pervert...


Me and my Beanie. Can you tell that we are done!? lol I love you Beanie!!!

Jude or Ricky??

I think that Dr RIcky totally looks like Jude Law.



Beanie...where is that picture? Do you have it?? I hafta see them side by side!

Reno!

Tony and I escaped! We had planned on going on Thursday and coming home on Friday. But...well...we had soooo much fun! And when we woke up on Friday morning Tony told me that he had talked to my mom and his mom and they okayed watching the kids for another night and we stayed!!!!!

I took exactly one picture the entire time.


As soon as we arrived Tony treated me to a much needed pedicure. My pigges are french with sparklies on them. The lady who did them was super mean. She stole my black flip flops because the ink was jacking the soles of my feet up. She made me walk through the hotel with these on...

i was mortified! I have serious issues with self confidence and walking through two casinos to get back to our hotel with these on was horrible! But I laughed my ass off and Tony was taller than me for a moment. Mine were yellow by the way...

Then we got dressed up all cute and we went to the Victorian Buffet!

I loved it. I really did! I am a picky eater. I like simple foods. And dessert. And that is what I ate. I had some enchiladas and a slice of pesto pizza. Then I had dessert. Chocolate Chip Cookies, Baklava, Cheesecake, Brownies, Chocolate Cream Pie...lots and lots of dessert. I didn't eat all of everything, but I had to try it all. They had the best chocolate chip cookies on the planet.

After that we went to a comedy show at Catch a Rising Star inside of the Silver Legacy


and we saw a really funny lady who called herself the Ranger of the Dork Forest. And she reminded me of me. And then this guy was the headliner

and his name was Kip something or other and he was drunk and funny as hell. He sang songs, funny ones. I laughed and laughed while I drank two strawberry margaritas.

Then we gambled and lost money. But we had fun doing it. And we sang along with some band that did cover songs while we sat at the bar gambling some more. We only gambled pennies...

We went to bed around 2. We liked the chair in the hotel room, it had stars on it.

Friday morning we went shopping. Hey! I needed new shoes because the lady stole mine and I didn't want to wear my dress shoes all day. So I bought some really ugly pink flip flops from Old Navy and they were only 27 cents. But they worked.

And Beanie reminded me that I needed my costume, so we did that too. Of course I lost the shirt that I bought


We went to the National Automobile Mueseum. Tony totally loved it and I think he got a woodie. I hated it, but I didn't complain. Not even once because he was in testosterone heaven. It smelled like fumes in there and I had a wicked headache, but I stuck it out!

We went back to Circus Circus where I kicked Tony's ass at the carnival games. And we ate at another buffet...more dessert people!

Then he decided that he wanted to see a show. So we saw this

All we did was call to see what show was playing that night and this was what it was. And they told Tony it was about cars and he loves cars so we booked the tickets. And when we got there we saw this

and I got a little nervous. But I noticed that it was all Grannys in line so I figured what the hell! And well, it was really really corny. Lots of boobies as I expected from the poster. But what disturbed me is that there were two dudes singing really cheesey songs while the naked girls danced. I don't think naked dancing boobies are attractive. They just aren't. I don't think boobs were made to jump up and down while they don't have a bra on.

But I loved watching the old men smile. We were the youngest people there. ANd I loved finding a pimple on one of the girls butts. That made me happy.

Anyways, after that we went to gamble a little more. I won a little money. And we crashed out.

And as soon as we got home I had to bust ass to get to Beanies for the partay!

Two Sisters Gourmet??

Hey Everyone!

I am going to be placing an order tonight! And I am
praying that it will put me over the top and win me
the trip to Florida. If I win, I will be flown to
Florida for an all expenses paid trip and a makeover
and photo shoot to be in next seasons catalog! I wanna
win!!!

So I am offering my discount to you! 25% off of
anything in the catalog!

Not to mention the Trio Of Seasonings Free with a
retail order of $50 or more!
May I reccomend the Season To Celebrate Menu? It
retails at $52. And includes the products and reciepes
that you will need to creat

Peppery Herb Turkey (or Pork Chops)
Zesty Orange Cranberry Sauce
Maple Dijon Roasted Sweet Potatoes
and
Pecan Turtle Tartelettes.

It also comes with a fantastic reciepe for Beer Bread
Stuffing!

That is the perfect menu for Holiday Gatherings.

And if you order that you will receive the Trio Of
Seasonings Free! They are the Outrageously Garlic,
Sisters Seasoning Salt and the Over The Edge Herbed
Spinnach.

You will get all of that for just $39 and shipping!

Let me know if you need anything at all!
dawn

Dawn De Anda
Two Sisters Gourmet Team Leader
www.twosistersgourmet.com/web/dawn
Join my team! Become a Gourmet Consultant today!

A List

I decided to compile a list of my so called "quirks."

I don't think they are "quirks." I call them "things."

And I never realised how many "things" that I have until Beanie and Sheryl started giggling and pointed them out to me. And it is kinda strange and funny. But they make me, me!


1. I am scared of little people. Midgets. Dwarfs. I am 5 foot 10 and they are so small it kinda freaks me out.

2. I do not want ice in my drink. If I don't have a choice I will take it but I have to have a straw. I don't want it to touch me.

3. Please do not bite popsicles or ice cream around me. I hate the sound.

4. I am seriously scared of the dark. Poor Tony has to turn off all of the lights in the house at bedtime. I am scared to walk to the bed in the dark because I think that an alligator will come out from under the bed.

5. Please do not flash the lights on and off in the house really quickly. I am afraid that a helicopter will land on the house.

6. Aliens. Oh my word aliens

7. Anything to do with outerspace. I hate it. It scares the hell out of me. I can't watch spaceships taking off. Or any space movies. I don't want to sit out at night and watch shooting stars because seriously what in the hell is stopping them from dropping out of the sky and landing in my yard. I don't wanna be laying there watching it plummet down into the earth to smoosh my ass. War of the Worlds scared the shit outta me. But I loved Armageddon but it had Ben Affleck in it and he is too sexy.

8. Feet. Let's just not go there.

9. The smell of marijuana brings me to a really bad place.

10. Val Kilmer...he is annoying as fuck and so is the dude from Escape from LA you know Goldie Hawn's husband. If one of them is in it I can't watch it.

11. The phone. I really really hate it. If you are one of the few people that I will call or answer to, then you must be special

12. Bridges. I hate them. I do. Only in California though. I am scared to be on the bottom deck during an earthquake because I don't wanna get squished. When we drive in one I have to put my hands on the ceiling of the car. Like my effin arms are going to save all of us from being squished...

13. Jammies. I love them, but I can't really chill out in them all day. And I want to. But I can't, I force myself to get dressed. I am doing good right now because it is noon and I am still in them.

14. Lip gloss...I just have to have it. If I don't I feel oooogly

15. I have a scrunchie addiction. I hate my hair to touch my neck. But I don''t like it short and I hate it in a pony tail. But I can't help the scrunchie. I actually crave it. If I can't find one I get annoyed. I have driven to the store just to buy something to put my hair up in. Even though I know that I look better with my hair down...

16. I can not sleep if Tony falls asleep first.

17. I can not sleep without Tony

18. I can not sleep with my kids

19. I used to have to have socks on all of the time. But since I had Ariana I hate socks. Which sucks because I hate feet. It really is bad news.

20. I wear my bra to bed most nights. If I go to bed without it I usually wake up to put one on

21. I am scared to death of the dentist. The noise, the smell the people. I feel horrible there. I have not been in two years. I don't want to go alone and I don't want to be awake. I want to be put to sleep but it is too expensive. And I have a lot of work to be done.

22. I am afraid to ask for help. I don't want to bother anyone.

23. I only say no to my children and my husband. Everyone else just about always gets a yes. I don't want to hurt anyone.

am i leaving any out beanie??

A lil fun

So I hear Modesto is the Meth Capital of the world. Did you know that Montery is the crack capital of the world??



Ha ha!!! Ain't that the cutest crack you ever saw!!!???

And here is a picture of me and my Tony. Don't I look in love??


By the way...that is no make up! And I got knocked out by my son's head the night before! Seriously, he banged me in the head with his head and knocked me out...

Our trip

Hey!!! You can check out our pictures from Monterey at my web site...http://web.mac.com/dawnandtony/iWeb/dawnandtony/Monterey.html


and if you click on the comic link page you can find a couple of pictures of LO!!

All because my friends are bored

Two doofs Halloweenie Survey....

Do you ever Trick or treat for unicef? k, um seriously...can't we just mail em a check?? i am fat! i need candy!

Do you have a kid whos birthday is on Halloween? nope

Has anyone in your family ever died on Halloween? nope, but my neighbors husband did

Have you ever gotten stitches on Halloween? no, have you?

Do you have a black cat? I effin don't like cats! Sorry Kingy! I hate them! They make me sneeze and I wanna choke the hel outta them. Not really, I mean I do sneeze. But I wouldn't choke it...

Does it bring you bad luck? What? What are we talking about? The cat? I don't have one. But if I did it would because I am allergic and my throat would close up and I'd die...

Have you ever given head on Halloween? Tony said no...I can't member

What was the WORST costume you ever wore? I told you about that stoopid punk rocker costume right??

Why?
Cause I looked like a homeless dude!

Was it homemade?
Yeah, it was. I hated that!

What is your favorite candy on halloween?
Um...anything chocolatey. But not plain chocolate, it has to have nuts or peanut butter or caramel.

Worst?
Oh Gosh...I hate those stoopid peanut butter taffy things you know with the orange and black wrappers. Stop buying those you cheap asses!

Do you eat like a pig on Halloween?
You tryin to say I'm fat??

Do you lie to your kids and tell em you "Have to check the candy for poisen" before they can eat it and snag all the good stuff?
Yeah. So what?? Fuck off!

Have you ever just stayed online all Halloween night?
No, have you?

Have you contributed to our Halloween Blog?
No...I am too scared of ghosts!

Have you?
Um...need a hearing aid?

Imma smack you if you DIDN'T!!!
Come over here and smack me then bitch!

You ganna dress up this year?
Yeah!

As what?
An 80s punk rocker

Why?
Cause I wanna

I SAID WHY BITCHEZ!
You are a dork! Man!

Did you know that on Halloween you will be visted by three spirits??? Oh wait. wrong holiday.
Beanie...don't you watch that dumb movie 12 times every christmas??

Freddy Kruger or Jason?
Neither! Unless it is Jason McNeal and I will love to kick his ever loving ass

Which ones scarier?
Jason McNeal for sure


Do you believe in Ghosts?
yup

Witches?
yup...i am from salem ;)

Vampires?
not real ones, just people who wanna be one

Werewolves?
no

Demons?
hmmmm...not sure

Chupa-MUFU-cabra?
what in the MOFO is that??

What's the wierdest thing you've ever gotten in your trick-or-treat sack.
pennies...i hate pennies

What do you usually carve into your pumpkins?
I can't make up my mind...one year a fish, one year a train...i like punkins

Do you cook the seeds?
nope

Do you like the squishy insides of the pumpkin?
i do! i love to torment my children with it

What are you doing on Halloween?
um...chasing my children around the neighborhood stealing their candy

Wanna come to my party?
shut up! it's my party!

Get your ass over here.... (Bring some alchohol!)
k

I wanna Scream!!!

I am $1000 away from winning the trip to Florida! I wanna pull my hair out!!!

I need the makeover! I need a break from the kids! I sooooooo wanna win!!!!!!!!! Someone punch me in the face so I can stop obsessing about this!!!!!

Pee Pee in the Potty Party

In case you haven't noticed. I like having parties. I really really do.

Mostly I love having the kids run around screaming and making a mess. While we adults pretend that we are there for the kids and we sit around eating like pigs and talking shit.

And that is what happened today. And I loved it.

David was so excited all day about his party. About his pinata. About all of his friends. And mostly about being a big boy and wearing chonies! No more diapers!

I keep looking at him today. And I know it is lame. He is already 3 and a half. But today he looks bigger. He looks older. He is growing out of his baby face and looking more like a little boy.

He is the one who keeps me giggling. He keeps me on my toes the most. He is the one that I have to be very careful to how I say no. He is the bigges tantrum thrower of the three. He is the one who will go up to a complete stranger and start a conversation. He is the kid who tells stories already, true or not true. He loves bad guys. He loves swords. He loves cops.

His favorite song is "Big Butts" ask anyone. Ask him, he will sing it for you. He yells "Double D's" all of the time. I have no idea where he got it.

He has crazy hair that sticks up all on it's own. He has to kiss you lots, regular kisses, monkey kisses, eskimo kisses and flower kisses under the glasses. He has to give them to Tony that way in order two times before he can leave for work every morning. They are wet and slobbery and wonderful. Perfection.

Toooooney!

I love him oh so very much!

This morning he was leaving for work. I was in my jammies. Pink striped silky bottoms and a black tank top. I still have make up on from last night because I was so tired that I just crashed out. Here is what I look like this very minute...


needs work huh? lol

Anyways. He was getting ready to leave. I hate when he works on Saturday.

He hugged me and said
"You look so hot right now. Like an 80s rocker chick."

I effin love him...

Curious

Am I the only person who feels like I am wonderful at finding people who just like to fuck me? Seriously...

I feel like I am constantly giving, doing and helping other people. Just for those same people to fuck me ten minutes later.

I have found these people my whole life. And I would like to think that one day they will wake up and realise that I am worthy of something other than being shit on!

I cried bunches today. Beanie saw what set me off. And it scares me that I get set off so easily. But it is not a good feeling to completely forget about everything that is going on in your life. I seriously think that it is more than just being too busy. I feel like my memory is fucked up. I really do. Sorry for the f bombs tammy...

I am proud of myself for Laurie, Sheryl and Tammy. I finally have three people that I know I can call up and ask for help, hugs or whatever and they will give me what I need. And I think that they know that I will return the help, hugs or whatever. I really really will!

Anyways...

Curious

Am I the only person who feels like I am wonderful at finding people who just like to fuck me? Seriously...

I feel like I am constantly giving, doing and helping other people. Just for those same people to fuck me ten minutes later.

I have found these people my whole life. And I would like to think that one day they will wake up and realise that I am worthy of something other than being shit on!

I cried bunches today. Beanie saw what set me off. And it scares me that I get set off so easily. But it is not a good feeling to completely forget about everything that is going on in your life. I seriously think that it is more than just being too busy. I feel like my memory is fucked up. I really do. Sorry for the f bombs tammy...

I am proud of myself for Laurie, Sheryl and Tammy. I finally have three people that I know I can call up and ask for help, hugs or whatever and they will give me what I need. And I think that they know that I will return the help, hugs or whatever. I really really will!

Anyways...

I totally need help!

I am so close to winning an all expense paid trip to Florida! It is for a makeover and to have a photo shoot to be in the next seasons catalog!!! And I so need it!

So check out my web site and if you want to you can order directly through that. Or you can send me your order and if you do it that way I will seriously give you my 25% discount!!! Puh Lease!

www.twosistersgourmet.com/web/dawn

Me...

Hi! It's me!

I just wanted to let ya know what is up with me. I know I am dramatic. I know I can't help it. That is just me. Kinda messed up childhood. But everyone does right??

Anywhoo, the best thing happened to me. It is not right, I know. But something terrible made me feel so much better. And I am sure that it is a temporary fix but hey...it's good enough for now.

Sheryl had a puppy, Jack. He is Luke's brother. And she freaking loved him. When we would be at the Y working out we would both be gushing puppy love. I think we might like them more than the kids. But something terrible happend to poor Jack and he passed away. It was awful. Sheryl was heartbroken. And in the midst of all of my depression I found myself distracted by the puppy tragedy.

Hearing Sheryl being so upset. Realising that Luke's brother was gone. Trying not to cry just thinking about poor Jack and everything that happened to this poor little guy.

I needed to fix it. I needed to hear Sheryl's smiley voice over the phone again. I needed to make her happy. So Beanie and I discussed it and we decided to go in on a new puppy. Not just any old puppy, but Jack and Luke's brother. We had to keep it all in the family.

So I called my neighbors and bought the last puppy. A giant brute with Dumbo ears. Identical to Jack just a lot bigger! His name was Rico. I called Sheryl to tell her that it was done. And David and I drove over to drop Rico off.

That day had been a terrible day for me personally. Sure, I had on a cheery voice, but all day I just wanted to drag myself back into bed.

That was until I got to the door and heard Sheryl and Maddie squealing the whole way to open the door. Until I saw Sheryl put her hands over her mouth and heard her say "It's Jack. "


Perfection. Pure love.

Then she asked me what his name was and I said, Rico. And she said in her squeaky Sheryl voice "No he's Cooper."

My heart smiled. I had goosebumps. I loved it.

We are not rich financially. We struggle with money. But we knew that this is what had to be done. I think that Beanie could say the same thing. I will not say how much he was because he is priceless.

To be able to get something for my friend that made her heart happy again. That helped her move on. Did more for me than anyone can ever imagine. When she calls me up to tell me that she loves her "Coopey Poopey" makes my day.

So, Cooper and Sheryl made me better. For now. I have dealt with depression my whole life and I am sure that it will happen again. But being able to give something so priceless to someone that I love so much really means the world to me.

I hope you know that Sheryl. I love ya!

Honored

I was able to witness a miracle this morning. I can not believe that Danielle wanted me to be there. But she did and I was.

I was so lucky to have been helping Danielle while she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.
Kaya Bella Grace


She is amazing! Absolutely breathtaking.

There is nothing more awe inspiring than a brand new baby. Hearing her first cries. Feeling her soft skin. Looking into her eyes full of wonderment.

The experience truly made my day.

Thank you Danielle and Daniel for having me there.

I am oh so proud

Of my new web site. I am not that good...but I have been playing. So check it out if ya wanna!

http://web.mac.com/dawnandtony/iWeb/Site/Welcome.html

Beanie!!!!!!!!

I know that you will understand!!!! I got an email today that said that the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS ARE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They are touring with Gnarles Barkley. I don't know who the hell that is but he has to be better than effin Mars Volta! It is a limited schedule...but I hope that they come here! OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! squealing and screaming is happening here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What are you doing today?? I was thinking to come over your way. To plan for our partay!

Cheese and Wine!

Oh! How Sheryl and I thought that we were going to sell outta all of our stuff. We did! We had high hopes! High in the pie apple pie hopes...

We ordered a bunch of our yummy "Favorites" sets. A BUNCH...and guess what???

People actually just go to Cheese and Wine Festivals to dress stupidly, eat fried foods and get drunk!! Did you know that!!?? That is the truth!

We had super fun though! I tried to take a picture of a wedgie to show you...and I almost had it. I did! I walked right up behind the lady and snapped her ass with my camera phone while I was walking by. And let me tell you...Sheryl said that it was not sneaky at all. She said that it was very obvious! My phone makes a camera shutterbug noise and not only that...but Sheryl started cracking the heck up when I did it! The lady turned around!!! But I kept on walking like I was just walking...I thought it was sneaky....I missed her ass...I only got her legs....dork!

Anywhoo! The wedgie was bad! Big and bad! Seriously it had to be causing her pain. I hope that she was wearing underwear because if not she probably has some serious chaffing issues happening today. You could make out her butthole people...bad!! I am not talking about sexy butt either...I am talking about fat ass, all wiggly jiggly wedgie! It was bad...

And I hope that Beanie can fix the picture that I took because our booth was right across from a bar. We so should go in there and get margaritas tomorrow...anywhoo...They had a lady bouncer. She was not ginormous or anything...but she was kinda chubby. She was wearing a pink bra, a pink see through shirt with a black see through shirt on top of that. You could see the rolls of fat! It was horrible! She also had on a pink belt with a belt buckle that said "Sexy" She thinks she is and someone does...but I don't. Cover up the rolls!! Oh and she was wearing black pants, but she had on nylons underneath and you could tell because they were too big and she had them pulled up almost to her nipples and you could see the nylon line cutting into her fat...just bad. But we giggled about her all day. You go sexy girl!

Tomorrow Beanie will come and giggle with us.

It is my last day of not being on a diet. So we are so having deep fried snickers bars!!! OMGOSH!!!

baskets...

so beanie and i took forever making the baskets all purty on wednesday. we were so proud of them. they were fabulous!

and then sheryl came over on thursday. i was so excited to show them to her!! i went out to the van to get them and then the christmasy one just completely fell apart. the fall one looked fantabulous though!

and guess what sheryl said!!??

"well, i guess we can foof em up a little bit on the morning before the festival starts..."

she was very dissapointed!

so beanie and sheryl, i have been working on the baskets and i think that sheryl (aka the basket nazi) will be proud!

you are gonna be so surprised sheryl!

Friiiiiiiday!

I am so lazy today!

I take that back. I mopped and swept and I washed laundry. But I don't wanna fold! I hate folding! I really really do! If I had enough money I would hire a folder. I really really would. Just some lady or maybe a sexay Anthony Kiedis look a like to come over and fold my stuff.

I am so excited about the Cheese and Wine Festival this weekend! I can't wait to sit with Sheryl and sell stuff and giggle at the weirdos!! Drunk weirdos all weekend! What could be better than that??

Halloween!

Normally, I am excited about Halloween for the kids.

Last year we threw a big Halloween bash for Scotty's Kindergarten class. It was sooo much fun.

We had a pinata (of course), confetti sprinkled everywhere, a donut eating contest (no hands), poppers...it was a lot of fun. I should find the pictures so you can see. My house was thrashed!

Anywhoo, I haven't dressed up for Halloween since 1997! Sad huh?

Then Beanie told me that I must come to the Halloween party dressed up! What the heck? So I have been on line looking at costumes, hating all of them. I mean...some dumb ass skinny chick must have been the idiot who came up with the Plus Sized Costume ideas, I swear! It is just wrong! So, I am not going there.

Then something hit me!

In the fourth grade all of the girls were being Punk Rockers! Oh, how I wanted to be a punk rocker. My Dad was so into the costume. But to him freaking Steven Tyler was a Punk Rocker...not Duran Duran. So he sent me to school with some raggedy old clothes and a big ol tie. I looked like a hobo and I wanted to crawl into a hole in die. The other girls had their hair spray painted pink and purple. With glittery eye shadow and heart and star stickers near their eyes. With leg warmers and all kinds of flourescent clothes.

So that is what I am going to be. A punk rocker. And not a normal one either. The one that you wanted to be in the 4th grade. So I am going to look super sexy and stupid! Yay!!

Dear Jungle Burger,

I know I know...you are called In n Out. But my son calls you Jungle Burger because of the palm trees. So live with it.

Thank you for making a cheeseburger that all three of my children love. It makes me happy.

Thank you for not putting all kinds of chicken, fish, nuggets and other stuff on the menu. I like that I don't really have a choice so that I don't have to think when I walk in.

Thank you for giving my kids stickers so that they will shut the hell up while screaming through the drive thru.

Thank you for asking me how I am. Noone else cares that I just left the mall with two boys crying and screaming because I wouldn't let them play in the park because they were being real live monsters.

Thank you for the nice lap mats. I don't know...they just make me happy.

But why in the heck don't you just figure out a cup!!?? I mean seriously my two year old popped the lid off of his chocolate milkshake before we hit the first stop light. That shit is everywhere. And my daughter dumped the other one out a half hour after we got home. FUCK!!!

Try to do something nice and it just smacks you in the face...

I love you Jungle Burger
love
dawn

Oh Wow!

So I went over to Beanie's today. Be jealous!

I love it there. There are few places in the world that I can go and feel completely at home. I can open her fridge and help myself to a diet soda (well they are in the cupboard but you get the idea). I can kick off my shoes and let my kids loose and know that we are safe and loved and welcomed.

She feels like a sister. I can't believe that. In such a short time I feel such a connection to a person. There is no way that she is not going to be in my life now. She is a part of me and so are her twerps and even Tophey (say smelly whore! say it!!)

I went there today to have her help me make some baskets for the Festival that I am doing this weekend with Sheryl. I hate cutesy pie shit like that. Ribbons and bows and stuff. I am trying to be more girlie for Ariana's sake. I am trying...We finished the baskets after a little internet lesson on making fooofy bows.

And then for fun. I am sure that she will post the pictures of us trying to be sneaky eating Helen's candy. I seriously am going to look on line for the Ribbon ones. What were they called again? It melted in my mouth and it was just so good. There was no way that I was giving the kids any of that!

Then Beanie decided that she wanted to take some pictures of me. She did me all up kinda slutty looking! And I think she loved it. And I liked it too...the whole big sister thing that I have always wanted. And she took my pictures. I was nervous, felt really self conscious (how the hell do you spell that) and ooogly.

But I did it for her. It made her happy. She was giggling and giddy. So we shall see what she does with the pictures. It will be interesting to see. Make me beautiful Beanie! I wanna be beautiful!

Flavor Flav

I love him. I really do. I used to watch his show and wonder how come all of these crazy bitches could fall madly in love with this goofy looking guy. I mean he is a goofy looking dude! Look at him...


But when I watch the show I can see how they could fall in love. He loves from his heart. He is funny and honest. Anyone who is that funny is good by me. I would love to spend the day with him....but I could never kiss that yuck mouth!

Remember this???

Sheryl and Lo Beanie

Tophey said that we hafta go to the Cheesecake Kitchen here in Modesto! Cheesecake and then porno shop! lmao...

The Kristie Drama

I seriously worry if she will ever see this! Oh well, I am not a liar and I don't have to hide the fact that she hurt my feelings and knows that I have enough drama happening in my life to deal with this crap.

So...back in August the day of the Baby Shower (you member Lo's blog right?) I noticed a bottle of vicodin that was in hiding from Kristie. It only had three pills in it. And I remember that the day that I put it up there it was at least half full...and I thought that it had 19 pills in it. I counted because Kristie has recently come out of treatment for a vicodin addiction.

She knew where they were. But in order for her to get to them she would have had to climb ontop of my counter or onto a chair.

I was talking to Beanie telling her that I swore that it was full...but I didn't want to say anything to my brother in law because I wasn't 100% sure.

Cut to this Friday. I was having a horrible day because of the Dr and all that crap (nevermind my sister drama). Jerry and Kristie stopped by and Kristie decided to stay because Jerry was going over to his Mom's to work a little bit.

About an hour after he left she went to my kitchen to look for medication. I thought she wanted a tylenol or something. Nope! She asked me if I had anything good. I told her that she didn't need them. And she wouldn't stop bugging me about them. So finally I said
"well you know where I put them if you want them you get them"

and that is when she told me that she had already taken them. And that at some point she switched the vicodins with Darvocets and had taken all of them too. So not only was she stealing from me, she was switching perscriptions too! Grrr....

She kept nagging me for more. And I finally caved because I was already so stressed out. Yes people, I am a walking pharmacy. I have three kids! I don't take them unless I have a migrane or something...but whatever.

She begged me for 10. She told me that she is not an addict, that her Mom has sent her some, that a friend of hers at school was giving them to her. That she has a slipped disk. She knows how many she can take...blah blah blah. Fuck it! I gave them to her.

"Promise you won't tell Jerry!"
I promised...I can tell Tony! Kiss my ass

SO I told him that night.
The next day at my party she followed me into my room and asked me for more. I yelled
"I don't want to be your drug hookup" or something like that. And she tried to cover my mouth with her hand. I pushed it away. Said "Fuck it" and gave her two more which she downed with half a bottle of wine and begged me for a third. I said
"NO!" and walked away.

On Sunday Tony called Jerry and told him most of it.
Kristie called back and yelled at Tony telling him that yes she took them. But that I was lying about everything else. That I want to break up her marriage.

I was listening to her fucking call me out and I went ghetto fabulous!
"She is a LIAR!!! She knows that she is a liar. I know that she is a liar and God knows that she is a liar! I am telling the truth and she can fuck off!!"

My children were inside I was outside with Tony.

About a half hour later she wanted to talk to me and I said "Hell no! I don't have anything to say to her!"

And that is the story of why my Sister In Law is a crazy bitch. I understand that people have addictions and problems. We all do, but don't involve me in yours. Tanks...

Cheater!

I have been cheating on my diet ever since my party!!! I have had three slices of cheesecake today. Two Turtle and one Chocolate! And they were delish!!

Now I wanna know what I hafta do to get a strawberry chocolate cheesecake! Not white chocolate. Reall milk chocolate. I have never seen one...have you??

Last Night

I felt good. I really did. Espescially after I told Maria everything that happened with Kristie. It felt good to get that off my chest. I will have to write another blog about that.

I want everyone to know that I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. Not only because of my fabulous wonderful husband. And not just because of my gorgeously goofy children. Or my puppy who loves to cuddle with me. But for the first time in my life I have some wonderful friends.

Not that I didn't have friends before. I have Melissa who is a genious and will do just about anything for me. She is the God Mother to my children. And I know that we will be friends for life.

I have TIffany who has been my friend since Junior High. And she is one of the few people that I can be truly goofy with. I mean straight up giggling and acting stupid like we did in the 7th grade. But with her and me life gets in the way and we have a hard time getting our schedules straight so that we can play.

I recently met Tammy. I love her. I really do! She is an awesome person. And I know that we will be friends for life. She is one of the few people that I have felt comfortable with from the very first day we met.

But now I have Laurie and Sheryl! They are my true soul mates! I know they might think I am nuts. But I feel like I have known them forever. We talk about EVERYTHING! And I love that. I look forward to the time that I spend with them...even if it is just sweating at the gym or sitting on the couch talking about the latest blog drama.

I love doing my Two Sisters Gourmet business. It gives me a little bit of time each week to where I feel like I am doing something other than being a Mom.

All of a sudden though, I don't feel good. I have been feeling tired and weak. So tired that I can't sleep. Last night I felt fine, I made dinner and Tony wanted to head over to Target to get a few things. So we rounded up the troops and went.

We were just about finished shopping when all of a sudden I felt like I was going to pass out. Dizzy and confused. So we paid and left.

We got home at 8 and I slept until 7:30 this morning.

The City just called me and needs me to go work Tot Time today. Sigh...I can't say no because we really need the money. So now I need to get the kids dressed.

Beanie...do you know how to make big bows?? I need to make a couple of baskets of TSG stuff for the Cheese and Wine Festival this weekend. Wanna help? Miss Crafty and Creative?? lol

Working...

What happened to me!? I have completely lost it.

I went in to sub this morning in the preschool program and all I wanted to do was to come back home. Thinking about all the stuff I had to do once I got there. Nap schedules, dog shots, dishes, mopping.

Oh My Gosh! I am a HOUSEWIFE!!!!???

When did that happen? I used to love to work. Now I wanna go home and MOP!!???

More Photo Booth Pictures!

It's Fat Albert!!


The Baby...an Alien...inspired by Kingy...


This is what I would look like if I decided to start taking crack...


Just Me!

Just Rambling

Today was a good day.

The kids were crazy as usual. But what would anyone expect! I have three up in here and the oldest is 6!! Completely insane, but I love it.

We were up til after midnight last night. My Dad showed up late and stayed late. I hate it when he shows up late but I love it when he is here after everyone else is gone. I miss my Poppy. After he left Tony and I goofed off with the computer camera...which I think is the greatest thing ever! Beanie, you hafta play with it!!

I got up with the kids at 7:30. And came right out to start swatting flies! I have no idea what the hell happened yesterday but there were a million fuckin flies in here! I think because the kids kept running in and out leaving the back door open. But I kinda liked smashing those annoying little fuckers.

Tony made breakfast and it was yummy. But I was really tired so I took a nap afer breakfast and didn't get up til 1:00. I needed that. I got dressed around 4:30. But I got back into my jammies at 7:00.

We had Taco Bell for dinner. We played video games all day. We were just super lazy and I love that. Tony worked on Danos car for awhile. He is out there right now putting brakes on it. Because he is awesome. I love him.

I ate a lot of cookies today. Fuck my diet! It is my princess party weekend! K!!?? Gosh....

Addiction

You have a problem! Admit it!


I told my husband because you made me promise not to tell yours. I was bullied and harassed into giving you more. I am NOT a liar.

Obviously I care more about your husband than you do.
Obviously you still have a problem. And you need to admit that you always will.
I am NOT a liar. Why would I? What purpose would it serve me to lie about what you told me?

Obviously you came over here on Friday for one purpose and one purpose only.
Obviously you do not care about me and my children like you say you do.
I am NOT a liar. I have enough drama happening in my life right now to make up this kind of shit.

Do not call my husband and tell him that I am trying to cause trouble. He knows me better than that. He will read this. I tell him everything. I keep nothing from him.

What did you expect me to do with that information? I will not hide your problem from your husband. He is a brother to me and deserves to be able to help his wife whom he loves so much.

Photo Booth!!

My new computer has the coolest feature!!

My September...

This is what I got in the email today. About my progress at the YMCA. I am so proud! Look how many elephants I lifted!!

My Friday...

It was kinda bad, I warn you.

I got up and got all of the kids ready to go to Maria's. They hate it there and complained about it.

So I bought myself a chocolate croissant on the way. And I loved it.

The Dr...was an asshole. No kind of humor. Just blah. I love my Dr and I am sad that he is on vacation. I told this dude what was up with me and he did not listen. He upped my prozac perscription to 20 mgs. And wanted me to go home to bed.

I have three kids, that is just not happening. Plus I just told him that I haven't been able to sleep. So he wanted to give me a shot of something to help me sleep. Hook me up to an IV because I was looking dehydrated and let me sleep there.

I argued with him to let me go home.

I got to Maria's and she gave me a ration of shit about the same ol stuff. Not taking care of myself. Not asking for help. Not disciplining the boys enough. Blah Blah Fuckin Blah.

I left there crying.

I got home and called Sheryl back because I hadn't answered her calls because my cell phone was dying.

She was hysterical. Her puppy, Jack, was dying. Something about she had to go say goodbye to him. I tried to calm her down but she was so upset.

I hung up crying.

My SIL came over because Jerry had to help Maria with something. It was nice to have her here to vent with. She actually kind of kept me sitting down and resting a little bit.

Sheryl called again. Jack had died. She explained to me what happened. And I feel so badly for her. That was my Luke's brother and I know just how much she loved him.

Cried again for her and Jack and Luke.

Tony came home and I expected that he would want to take care of me and he didn't. No surprise there. I mean look how his Mom was. That is where he learned it. But it hurt. I wanted at the least for him to ask if I was okay or if he could do anything for me.

I told him after the kids went to bed that it hurt me. He went out for a drive.

So...anywhoo. The Dr said that I am suffering from exhaustion. Over stressed and over worked. Dehydrated. That if I don't take care of these things then I am going to end up in the hospital.

What am I supposed to do?

Sublime

If I had to pick another band it would be them. They make me giggle. Beanie, this is the song that I was telling you about....

Kingy...

I wanted to let you know. That I have been so bad lately. I can not remember a damn thing. I forgot the babies Dr appt today. I missed the dog's appt three times this week.

I know that sounds stupid those things. But there is a lot more.

So I called the Dr's office tonight and I made an appt. They asked me a lot of questions. And they actually tried to persuade me to come in tonight. But I don't want to go tonight. I made the appt around 9ish so it is too late.

Anywhoo, thanks for caring about my health and all of that. I just wanted to let you know that I made an appointment and hopefully they will figure something out.

love ya!
dawn

Kisses

how many kisses would you say you've had in the last year:
lots and lots of em


has anyone kissed you besides family that was a secret?
um, lately? nope


what celeb would you wanna kiss
do you really hafta ask!!?? Anthony Kiedis of course! And Beanie can mack on Flea while I am at it...


whats your dream kissing date
Didn't I just answer this question? My husband, Anthony Kiedis

what's your favorite lipstick
Oh My Gosh! You must have the hot lips stuff that Tammy sells...it is the boss of it, I swear that I am addicted!!

Whats your favorite flavor of chapstick
Um...I don't know. I hate the actual Chapstick stuff. I like the Beauty Control Lip Balm, it's kinda orangey


What would you do if a real sexy midget was sitting on a bar and reached over and kissed you
Hey!!! Do you know what King and Beanie!!?? FUCK YOU!!! You guys are fucking hysterical! I love you...Okay what would I do??
He so wouldn't even have gotten there because when his ass tried to jump up on the stool next to me and missed and slammed his nuts into the stool I woulda hyperventilated and passed out and landed on him and smooshed him. you woulda had to call 911 to save my ass...


Do you like him wearing a cap?
Does it make him look like he is over 2 feet tall??


Do you prefer sneaky kissing that is fast and furious or relaxed bedroom kisses?
Oh gosh, I love sneaky ones...fast and furious sneakey!


Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
yup


Do you dream of kissing someone?
yup...anthony kiedis

Whats your movie for kissing?
i don't like kissing movies. the boxes are kinda hard and cold


Have you ever kissed in a swimming pool?
yeah

Have you ever been kissed under fireworks?
yup

How old were you when you had your first kiss?
this is so sad...17...well that's not true. But my first real kiss when I wanted it...

Who was it?
OMGOSH! Dustin Meideros. He was a minor league baseball player and I only went out with him because I wanted to drive his Camaro. He was a hottie though...but he had a germ thing...

Did it suck? Be honest!
No...it was good, til he grabbed my boob and I wanted to punch his nuts

Have you ever kissed upside down?
yup, don't like it

On a swing?
i don't think so

Playground
yeah

Roller coaster
nope

Ferris wheel
scared to death of those things..

Shower
hells yeah!

In the back seat
yup

In a closet
yuppers

at school
nope

Over coffee?
coffee sucks ass

Over dinner in a resteraunt?
yeah, i like reached across the table kisses

Has it ever thundered when you kissed during a storm?
yup

Have you ever body kissed?
what the fuck is that?

Do you know what that is?
do you pay attention? i just asked you!

Do you kiss under the mistle toe?
yup

where's your favorite spot to kiss on your love?
hmm...i really really like his lips. i know that it is boring, but have you seen his big lips? i love to look at the way his neck wrinkles while he kisses me...sigh

Have you ever shotgunned anyone smoking pot and got excited?
what the fuck does that mean?

Describe your perfect kiss
Anthony Kiedis...

Lo Beanie

The three week stretch is over...oh and Tony reminded me that it has only been one week.

Weight Loss Sucks!

It truly does. It came so easy to me before I had Ariana. I lost 50 pounds in a matter of a few months and I felt so good and proud and beautiful!!

I am back at the YMCA everyday. EVERYDAY!!! And I really love going there. It gives me a break from the monkeys. It is something for me to do for me. And I have Sheryl there giggling with me most of the time. Not to mention complaining and whining.

I am trying so hard. And I know that it has only been three weeks, but I am not seeing any changes. Last week the scale showed that I lost 5 pounds. But that 5 pounds is gone...I am hoping that it is just the scale at the YMCA. So I am going to buy my own scale this week.

The whole scale thing scares me too. I used to be anorexic and that never really goes away. So don't ask me how much I wwant to lose. I can't pick a number. I will focus on that number until it is there and I will not do it the right way. I know that.

So I am picking a new pants size. Before I got pregnant I went from a 28 down to a 20. And after the pregnancy I was and still am in a 24. So that is not bad huh?? Considering that when I had Scotty I ended up in a size 32!!

So for starters I would like to get back into my 20s. And I want it to come easy! I do!! I want this fat to melt away to sexiness...

Honestly, I don't want to change me. I don't want to be super skinny. But I would like to be in a 16 or 18. I would like to be able to purchase clothes at Target and normal stores instead of plus sized shops. I would like to fit into an XL T-shirt.

When I met Tony I was in a 14. And I thought I was huge! And I don't even know how I ended up this size.

Anyways...WEIGHT LOSS SUCKS!!

Oh...I am going to try to post a weekly picture of me to see if y'all notice changes. I will have Beanie or Tony take one tonight.

Update...

So, today was long. I can't believe that it is only 5:30. I am so tired. I honestly could have fallen asleep on Lo's couch today.

We got up early and left for my sisters. It is a 75 mile drive from here. I dropped the kids off at a good friend of mine and took off.

I was so nervous. I didn't sleep the night before. I felt sick to my stomach. But I knew what I had to do.

I called my Mom for another pep talk.

My sister wouldn't answer the door. She wouldn't answer the phone. So I hopped her fence and yelled through her bedroom window and she answered.

She looked shocked when she opened the door because of my obvious lack of children. And I told her that we needed to talk.

Everyone has asked me if she has lost weight and I keep saying no. She is a big girl. But I noticed when she opened the door that she looked the same size but her pants were folded in at the waist and held shut with a safety pin. Which tells me that she has lost something.

We sat down and talked. Mostly there was silence. I told her that Dad let me know what was going on and I wanted to hear what she had to say. According to her she has not used in 8 months, it was meth. She cried. I held back my tears because I wanted to be strong.

I told her that my intention was to take Ellie home. That I had a bed waiting for her. That I did not want to see her or my Dad locked up. She agreed.

So, since she is claiming to be free I set her up two appointments with her insurance. One is for a drug test. The other is for a drug counsler.

I did not take Ellie home because of this. Although, I told her that I will persue taking custoday of her if the drug test comes back positive. I told her that I want to believe her, but I don't. But I can't kidnap the child.

I feel a little better. But it was very hard for me. I am very very non confrontational. My sister is the one who will "Mother Fuck You!" in a heartbeat. I am a nurturer.

She had a job interview to go to at noon. That is a good sign because she has never had a job before. She is 25. She had been crying so I helped her get dressed. And I let her put on some sexy lip stuff. She is still my lil sister...

What the heck!?

Have you ever had a day when you feel like the best thing would have been to have pretended to be sick and stay in bed??

That was my today. Getting to the Y this morning was a disaster! Scotty just went off track and the boys were hyper!! I wanted to be at the Y at 9 but didn't get out of the door until then and well....did I mention that they were hyper??

I get to Pilates in time though, but I missed my circut training...Take the kids to swimming lessons. Although we were a few minutes late because both of them had to poop...whatever!

Leave the Y for COSTCO because we are out of just about everything. Get there and get all of the kids out and David is wet. He peed on himself!!! I don't have any clothes for him so we head back home...with the boys crying because they love COSTCO...

It is only day one and Scotty is complaining that he is bored already!! I threatend to enroll him in Red Track so I could send his lil butt back to school.

Everything spilled today...everything! The brand new gallon of red fruit punch. About 10 bowls of cereal (David only wants to eat cereal right now). Three glasses of milk. One Diet Pepsi. A package of corn tortillas. The Garbage Can. A box of Cocoa Puffs. The box of crayons and markers....EVERYTHING!!!

Ariana went to play in the backyard and came in with dog shit on her feet. And I did not realise that she had done it. I smelled it though and kept checking her diaper. Half an hour later I realised that there was mess all over the floor and up the couch...

I was so flustered from that! I took her to the bathroom stripped her down. Put her in the sink and cleaned her up. Took her to her room and put a new shirt on her. Came out and cleaned up all the dog crap! Ariana kept crying so I gave her a bottle and put her in bed so that she would be quiet while I cleaned up the mess. Tony came home just as I was finishing cleaning (half an hour later) and I was going to get Ariana out of her bed. I quickly handed him the baby and he asked

"What happened to her pants?" and I said
"I just changed her because she stepped in dog shit" and he said
"Oh...okay??"
and I looked at her and she did not have on pants...or a DIAPER!!!
Now there is pee all over her bed...change the sheets wipe the bed down...Fuck! I forgot that I was boiling noodles for dinner!!! Smooshy...oh well, eat it anyways! Mom is effin done!!

So I am thinking that this is going to be a rough week...espescially with my sister drama...

I can't wait til my party on Saturday!!!

Ah Man...

Everyone has their own share of family drama. I have a ton. Really I do.

My drama made me who I am and helped me to be "good." Although, I have issues. I am sure that everyone does.

My sister is my baby. I love her to death. Although, she makes me nuts. She considers me to be her Mom. So now I have to step up. I have to try to save her. If nothing else I have to save my niece from all of the terrible things that are happening in her world. And I have to save my hero, my Dad. I can't sit by and let this happen to them.

I can't let them be vicitmized. And if I do nothing then what kind of Mom am I? I hope that she will be able to see that I am stepping in because I love them. I love her. I love her daughter as my own. And I will do whatever it takes to get that little girls Mom back and healthy.

I am scared that me stepping in will upset the entire family. But I can not let my niece live with drugs and a drug addicted Mom anymore.

So tomorrow I am going to go and do the best that I can to help my sister...wish me luck...

Sheryl!!!

She finally caved! She posted her first blog!!

http://mamasheryl.blogspot.com/

Drug Question

I have never been on any illegal drug. Other than the contact high at the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert of course...

I have a question though. Does anyone know what drug people can most likely manufacture from home and I think smoke. But it is leaving a red residue in the homemade pipes?? My sister is into some major trouble and I am trying to figure out what...